Monthly Archives: January 2014

A Step In The Right Direction After Divorce

Divorce is an event that changes your life forever.  Going through the process of separation, divorce and child custody arrangements changes you and leaves you going through a wide variety of feelings and a decrease in your sense of self.  Not only are you facing challenges emotionally as a mom going through divorce but also a list of other difficulties including finding a place to call home and a way to finance your new life.  In order to bring order and assurance to your new life as a single women or single mom there are some things you can help you through the process.

 

The first key in moving on in your new life as a single women and mother is to learn forgiveness as well as to let go of the past and move into the present.  You may not see eye to eye with your ex but learning to let go of everything that is not within your control.  When you spend your days regretting the past the future will be wasted.  For your sake and for your children’s future you must move past the bitterness that comes with the divorce process.  Create a future based on forgiveness and moving forward.

 

Create room in your life and the lives of your children for friends and supportive relationships of all kinds.  Seek out positive experiences, this will create a life full of everything positive and will allow you to begin to see the good in life.  Bring people into your life that was not involved in the chaos of your marriage and divorce.  Allow yourself to become encompassed by friends that know you’re moving forward and not looking back.  Don’t allow your support system to bring you back into the pandemonium of your divorce.

 

From the minute that a divorce is eminent you need to take time for yourself.  Take some time to enjoy a new or old interest.  Consider taking on an outdoor sport to give yourself some alone time.  Fresh air and outdoor adventures are some of the best ways to let off steam and regain a sense of self.  Harmony to oneself is the best resent you can give to yourself and your children.

 

While you are married you have to compromise on everything from the brand of toilet paper you use, where you live and how many kids you will have.  Compromise is involved in each step along the way with marriage.  Once you are separated, you begin to be in complete control of all the decisions in your life.  You can choose where you vacation with the kids, pick out the shampoo that will be in the shower and what type of car you will drive.  Excitement comes with discovering your likes and dislikes without any need for compromise.

 

Eat healthy and learn to do things to take care of your health and well-being.  A change in diet and exercise can help you beat depression and improve your overall attitude.  It is a perfect time to see your physician so that together you can discuss the changes happening in your life as well as ways to ensure you to have health.

 

Remember your children through the divorce.  Communicate with them and remind them that the demise of your marriage is in no way shape or form because of them.  They did nothing to cause the divorce and nothing they could have done or would have done differently would have led the marriage to be saved.  Children have a lot of guilt when they learn their parents are divorcing.  Spend time with your children doing things outside of the house and the realm of the divorce.  Keep the messages you send them positive and upbeat.  Never burden them with the issues surrounding the divorce.

 

When you take these tips into consideration and truly focus on moving forward in a positive manner you can avoid the trauma associated with modern day divorce.