Maintaining a good relationship with your ex for the sake of raising your children together is not always easy. It is simpler to walk away from your ex and think of them as a distant memory the minute the divorce decree is signed but this is not as easy for those who share custody of a children. In order to live with your ex on a daily basis it is crucial to learn how to cope with them on a regular basis. A good relationship with your children’s father after your divorce takes a lot more commitment and effort on your part than your marriage ever did. In order to do this there are five basic reminders to live by. Living by these five rules on a regular basis will lead you to the happiest life possible for you and your children.
All animosity between the two of you should be left behind: With any life change, especially divorce comes a period of transition. Your life has been changed and now you are left to lead the type of life you truly want to. This will start a while new chapter for you, your ex and your children. Leave the resentment and past problems right where they are. The past is the past and the present is yours to define with your ex and the children shared between the two of you.
Don’t worry about the stigma of divorce: When a couple gets married and divorced at a young age the thought is that the marriage was rushed into. The stigma is that you were not as mature as older adults who marry later in life. Marriage takes a commitment along with a lot of hard work; it is not for many couples no matter how young or old they are. Having children makes marriage a whole lot more work as well no matter how old you are when you get married and settle into having children. Don’t let other peoples judgments create your story.
Don’t make our friends and family chose sides: When a divorce takes place it is important to ensure your family and friends that there is no need to take sides. This is especially important when it comes to co-parenting. The families remain a vital part of your children’s lives and therefore will remain a part of yours and your ex’s. Do your best to foster this and grow a relationship with all of the people in your children’s lives.
Don’t forget to be flexible and respectful: If your children want to babysit the dog they shares with your ex while he is away on a business trip allow for a change of plans. If your ex needs to switch days he is with your son, do so without a hassle. This will foster a better relationship between the two of you and make the times you need help a bit easier for him to return the favor and help you. Plus it shows your children there can be a win-win situation in a divorce.
No matter how turbulent your divorce was it is time to write a new future with your ex for the sake of your children. Keep an outlook that focuses on the benefits of co-parenting. Divorce attorneys will tell you that a positive, fresh outlook on co-parenting while leaving the dust of the divorce to settle is in the best interest of all parties.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.
No one is an expert when it comes to divorce. Every divorce is unique and offers a different set of challenges. There are however common bonds that, frequently made mistakes and unexpected results that all occur in one form or another when women are going through the divorce process. In this installment divorce attorneys share some information that has been shared with them to help get women through their divorces both financially and emotionally.
Not only does the divorce itself take awhile the finality of it tends to take a long time to recover from. This is natural and should be taken in stride. You will recover from your divorce. It may take you a longer period of time than it did your best friend, your sister or co-worker but it will happen. There will be days you can barley function while others where you are concurring the world. Surround yourself with a variety of support systems and continue to move through the process until one day you wake up and it is not the first thing you think about.
The divorce attorney you choose is important. Don’t settle for a criminal defense attorney, a probate attorney or any other type other than a family law attorney that specializes in divorce, child custody, alimony with a focus on women’s rights in divorce. A local divorce attorney specializing in family law will get you a better settlement than anyone else. They are versed in divorce proceedings, local judges and other local attorneys. They will work the system to make sure you come out on top.
Dig into your finances. Don’t let your spouse tell you what you have and what you don’t have. It is important to gain access to all financial documentation that either one of you possesses. So many divorces occur because of financial disagreements. Before you even file or your spouse gets wind that you plan to leave start to organize and access all of your joint accounts and all of the single accounts you both have. Online passwords should be documented along with the name and account number of all accounts that are held by either of you or jointly. The more information you gather the better off you will end up financially once the marriage dissolves.
Consider how much it will cost you to live independently. The well being of you and your children will depend a lot on the financial aspect of the divorce. Estimate high on living expenses and such. Don’t let the emotions of the divorce get in the way of ensuring that you are your children will continue to live the lifestyle you have become accustomed to. Keep in mind incidentals that may not be able to be kept after the divorce such as health care. If your spouse is currently carrying insurance on you and the kids it needs to be specified that this will continue or that they will compensate the loss out of pocket.
The goal in any divorce is to split from one another. It is not important who is at fault and trying to get back at one another only leads to more problems in the end. Leave the complicated stuff to the divorce attorneys to work out and start fresh. Your ex will more than likely be willing to comply with what you are asking for if the proceedings are coming along without a lot of drama. Both parties are looking for a clean break and a fresh start to move on. Your divorce frees you from any obligation you had to your spouse. It is a perfect time to head out into the world and become the you that may have been oppressed in your marriage.